Friday, 15 December 2017

Paradise lost....


Ever since my childhood, tea gardens held a special place in my heart. Maybe it was the fresh green colour, or maybe it was the undulating hills with velvety tea plants creating a magical green carpet on both sides of NH 37…
And then there were the Manager’s bungalows…
It was the ultimate relic of the Raj. Sprawling bungalows attended by an army of well-trained servants: vegetable gardens to supply the kitchen with an uninterrupted supply of fresh greens. I heard my Uncle, who was a manager in a tea garden in Tezpur, talk about the clubhouse where he went for the evening "snifter" at the bar, or for a game of tennis or badminton. He regaled a rapt ‘non-tea’ audience about his stories of weekends spent out in the jungles for organized shikaar-cum-fishing trips.
As I grew up, I realized that governing this idyllic life-style was two leaves and a bud, the ubiquitous symbol of Indian tea (এটি কলি দুটি পাত). Whether in the rolling plains of Assam, or the Dooars in West Bengal or in the mist-shrouded hills of Darjeeling, life in the tea gardens seemed suspended in time. As I started growing up and began reading about these green expanses, I came to know more about the extended legacy of the hard-living, hard-drinking Scotsmen who first planted and cultivated the stunted green shrubs that made Indian tea a legacy.
Up till the late my childhood (read ‘early and mid 1980s’) tea garden labourers treated managers and assistant managers like minor gods whose every word was a divine command - labourers referred to managers as “sahaab”. Salaries and perks for tea planters were far more attractive than comparative appointments in private sector companies (at least this is what I deduced from their lifestyles).
Though social life revolved around the clubs, there was something for everybody. Games included billiards, golf, tennis, squash, football and cricket. There were movie shows and regular dances with live bands organized by the wives. Yes, the ‘wives’ were a force to reckon with. Stylish demeanor, backless blouses, rummy, et al..In most estates, regular weekly charter flights arrived from Calcutta loaded with foodstuffs and anything else planters wanted to order. Moreover, if sports and socializing - both synonymous with tea estates - have started fading out it is because of the kind of people who have started joining the gardens in recent years. Almost all the professionals who are now getting in belong to middle class backgrounds: to them the kind of life-style that existed 15 years ago on the estates is totally alien. Their wives would rather stay at home and watch video or television whereas in the old days, it was the women who played a major role in organizing the social life.
But it was an anachronism, an era that had to end.
Before Independence, tea companies were almost wholly owned by the British and young men were brought in to look after the estates all the way from England. Hardly any planter would miss an evening at the club. Even Indian planters made it a point to participate because British bosses ensured that their assistants were active at work, on the playground and in the clubs. Dancing, drinking and generally living it up were images synonymous with planters.
Today, for an old planter, the sight at the Dibrugarh District Planters' Club on a Saturday evening would indeed be heartbreaking. There are normally hardly a dozen planters at the bar and even less playing any kind of game. But that is symbolic of the dramatic change that has overtaken tea garden life. By the early '70s, with even the most die-hard British planter having left, life on the tea gardens became, almost overnight, a case of paradise lost.
The change was hastened when British-owned companies sold out to Indian owners, mainly hard-headed, profit-oriented Marwari businessmen. With the change in management - and the sudden competition in international markets that Indian tea faced - the old life-style of the tea planter was doomed.
As some of my relatives involved in tea garden business now tell me, there is little time for recreation now. There is too much paper work. In the mid-'40s, there were nine golf courses maintained by tea clubs in Cachar district alone. Now, tall grass and weeds have claimed them. Interestingly, even the traditional afternoon "lie back" has become a memory. A job on the estates today is a high-pressure one. When the British were in charge, working as a planter was a way of life. Now, it is just another job.
More important, they want quick results. Within the last decade, there have been sweeping changes in the gardens. Most of the new recruits are engineers, agriculture graduates and computer professionals. Today, companies are only interested in the quantum of work completed, production figures, rising profit graphs and projections for the future. Working hours have stretched to unimaginable levels. Apart from dealing with the labour and filing countless government returns, more time is taken up by the factories which work longer hours than before. Moreover, improved agricultural practices have helped stretch the plucking season to nearly 10 months a year.
The change in life-style has a lot to do with the pressures of the market-place. Today not only is international competition intense, even within the country, consumers have become quality conscious. You can no longer flog any quality of tea. It has become a buyer's market.
It isn't as if there aren't profits in the tea business. But employers seem to feel that the tea planter now need not live the kind of life that his British predecessors used to. Traditional perks too have been a major casualty. In numerous cases, owners have moved into the palatial houses that managers formerly lived in, compelling their own employees to shift to smaller accommodation. Assistants are now made to share bungalows. And the changes have started taking their toll. One example; the heavy turnover among new recruits. Most youngsters who join tea gardens leave even before their probation period is over. The aura of authority and power that surrounded the managers and assistant managers has also faded. The boot is now on the other foot. Secluded as their houses are, a sense of insecurity haunts managers, several of whom have become targets of dacoities.
The traditional system of having a 'garden banker' - usually a local money lender - to conduct transactions has been done away with by some management to save on commission. They now expect their managers to withdraw huge amounts from the bank and carry the cash to the garden on salary day. The days are well known and managers are known to have been waylaid and looted.
But even more than criminals, it is problems of labourer that plague managers. In Assam, until quite recently, the tea garden workers were a peaceful lot. True, they were unionised, but they were fairly well paid. Now, the scene is different - inter-union rivalry, aggressive workers and, for the managers, a major headache. In a tense situation, the manager is the only voice of the owners and predictably, the major target for physical attack.
Clearly, the glamour of the tea estates is gradually fading and, in another few years, there may be little to distinguish the tea manager's job from that of his counterparts in the city.



Sunday, 19 November 2017

The moonlight haze...




The moon somehow looked pristine,
As if it just said that for the moment you are mine...
It's the kind of moon that I  want to  send back to my past,
And exactly the one I wish to forever last...

It's been a tiring route -
Treading though cities and many a crowd,
The goals achieved, the riches earned
The brownie points that made even my shadows proud....

There's no mistletoe in my life,
So there's nowhere I can kiss you my dear…
My sky is hazy with no shining stars,
And so the embrace is nowhere near...

They talk of many hearts and many loves
And of kinship forged and lived,
Bonds where tears are veiled in smiles
Where dreams are framed and the truth sieved...

You were with me in the twilight moon
When I saw the eyes that smiled,
The heady fragrance in the moonlight
Of some flower, untamed...wild...

There's no wish for a starry night,
Or for a journey with no end;
Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight and a touch-
Before I leave you again in the bend...


Tuesday, 14 November 2017

I was a child of the romantic era




“Memories of childhood were the dreams that stayed with you after you woke.”

I was a child of the romantic era..

Yes, such are childhood memories…Like the colourful Luxor sketch pens we used to draw ‘landscapes’ – a brown mountain with a blue stream and an oblong hut with square windows and a rectangular door.

We woke up early, and tied our hair in two tight braids with red ribbons. A rush to the bus – stop was not because of our eagerness to attend school; rather, it was a mad rush to grab the window seat in the school bus. School work was a heavy burden to carry and our accomplishments included being the first one to copy the contents from the blackboard. Yes, I hid answers from the more studious ones, and was not labeled selfish for it; after all, everyone hid their work! Our parents did not have WhatsApp groups to discuss daily school works, and going to PTM was a unwelcome break in their daily routine.

Our birthdays were not ‘theme based’ and neither were fancy cakes available. Gifts were not expensive transformers, but a toffee from a friend made my birthday special. Our treasures were numbered - a few marbles, one toy (usually gifted by a relative) or a bicycle for the luckier ones.

Post lunch time was Ma’s siesta time, which meant we had enough time and the opportunity to sneak into the kitchen and put spoonfuls of Amulspray Milk Powder in our mouths – and savoured the sweet mass had stuck to our hard palates.

Evenings were not for trips to watch the latest animation movie but to sit in the study table whether we felt like studying or not. It was something our parents desired and all elders were ideal. We had little or no knowledge of lecherous uncles and peeking neighbours. Traveling in the buses meant looking out of the window and watching the moon following us. Playing "chor police" indoors on rainy afternoons, watching the elder siblings play "FLAMES" and whispering about their "crushes", making paper boats and watching them swim in the muddy puddle near the gate - I see those moments floating in front of my eyes...

Now I am on the threshold of the fourth decade of my life and sometimes I return back to the state of mind I had as a child when I believed nothing was impossible. When I stand in front of the burner in my kitchen everyday cooking dinner for my family, my mind travels back in time to those evenings when drinking milk with dollops of Maltova or Bournvita was compulsory. There are mysteries buried in the recesses of my kitchen – every berry seed kicked under the dining table is a hidden memory. Many times I ache to be ten again…ten was before relationships or heartbreaks or calculations. Ten was just ten. Tiffin with bread and generous amounts of butter, mosquito bites and home-made cough remedies, bicycles and snake-and -ladders. Tangled hair, sunburned shoulders, Enid Blyton, in bed by nine thirty…..

Friday, 10 November 2017

Life...



तुम मुझे वक़्त समझकर गुज़ार लो,
मैं तुम्हे ज़िंदगी समझकर जी लूँगी......

Wednesday, 8 November 2017

A letter to you..




I’m doing something, being somebody..
All the while wanting to sit somewhere quiet
And talk to you the whole night…
The wish comes and it steals my thoughts and makes me think of you…..
But there’s no you….

I wonder about the place by the side of the railway tracks
Where I walked, lost in the nadir of my heart’s darkness;
Where I grew up, and where I used to go to bury things,
I used to go there to say goodbye.
And I witnessed all the years passing by…

In silence I tried to kill the voices that haunted me,
One way or the other,
Leaving sin on my body;
Scrubbing tears off with salt-
I built my rituals in farewells…
And there were the endings I still cling to.

I saw the waves that die before they reach the shore
And I see the waves as ‘time’ –
It takes some things away, but it brings other things….
I take out the blue pen and start writing to you again..
Asking you to meet me where the sky touches the sea
And to wait for me where the world begins….
For in those rusted rails I realized –
Love isn’t found – it’s built..




Tuesday, 26 September 2017

Lost in time



There's no hearts or flowers or happy endings,
Not even a little space which I can call mine;
Like all fairy tales that end at some point
You too will fade....lost in time...

Am I trying to palm a shooting star?
Bedazzled by its aura, light and shine?
I feel that like the echo that dies in the blue hills -
You too will fade....lost in time...

I gape at the wrinkles and the grays,
And stare the lopsided smile past its prime,
A drying cascade with tired waves,
You too will fade....lost in time...

The last kiss, the last embrace, 
the last tears and the line on sand,
And this life which is just about fine,
It's the magic of the mist which hides the road ahead,
Or is it true that you are gone with the tide of time???


Monday, 11 September 2017

Priyam Hazarika



Priyam Hazarika March 2nd, 1928 ~ June 3rd, 2015
Transition
Priyam Hazarika took her last breath in the presence of her only offspring Tej Hazarika, her grandson Sage Akash Hazarika, her niece Ara Patel and her husband Najeeb Mirza, her niece Prathana Patel and her children Enna and Jayvyn Proscov. She died at the age of 87 due to complications stemming from a blood clot in the main artery to her intestinal system. She was cremated on June 5th at a crematorium in the presence of family and close friends. The next day there was a gathering to celebrate her life in her beloved apartment in Ottawa where she lived by herself for 40 years. In Assam, at Nijarapar on the Hazarika family grounds, her in-laws requisitioned traditional Assamese services spanning 11 days on her behalf ending with a Nagara Nama (a drumming and chanting service) on Saturday, June 6th. People streamed to the homestead after the news broke in Assam to pay their respect and condolence. Print and television media covered the news of her demise across the state. Of her siblings, her sister Minal Gathani, and brothers Dilip Patel and Siddhartha Patel survive her. Priyam had survived younger brothers Anil and Kailash Patel.
Biography
Priyam Hazarika, daughter of Dr. Muljibhai and Maniben Patel, expired in Ottawa, Canada, just before 1pm. She was born in Vadodara, state of Gujarat, India, on March 2nd, 1928, being the eldest of her five siblings, four brothers and one sister.

Childhood until the age of 17 was in Kampala, Uganda, where her siblings were born. Although her parents had settled there in 1924, they maintained a strong life-long connection to India reinforced through marriages and the educational sojourns of siblings for whom Maniben, the matriarch, maintained a second home in Vadodara.
Due to her creative disposition, keen-ness and her parents' progressive outlook, she was exposed to classical Indian dance and culture during her stays in India. She was primarily educated in Uganda however in 1946, after completing high school in Kampala, for further education her father sent Priyam to New York City where she completed four years of undergraduate studies at the Manhattanville College of the Sacred Heart-a liberal arts college whose mission was to ""educate students to become ethically and socially responsible leaders for the global community"". Graduating in Political Science, she continued to complete her masters in the same field at the School of International Affairs of Columbia University.
It was during this period that she contributed her passion for classical dancing to US General George C. Marshall's efforts to publicize and raise funds to restore the economic stability of a war torn Europe. For that cause she performed in front of large audiences at distinguished New York venues as well as for functions organized by the new Indian republic's consulates to the United Nations an Washington DC.
In 1948 she met and later married singer and song writer Bhupen Hazarika, a native of Assam, India, who was writing his doctoral thesis in Audio–visual education at Teacher's College Columbia University, New York. In 1950 after completing her masters she flew to Vadodara to her mother's home to give birth to their only child, Punnag Tej Hazarika in 1951. Her husband, after successfully submitting his doctoral thesis, returned home to India. After picking up his wife and son, he returned to his ancestral hometown Guwahati, Assam. Overnight she became the eldest daughter-in-law of Bhupen's parents Nilakanta and Shantipriya Hazarika undertaking the numerous responsibilities intrinsic to the life of a 'normal' daughter-in-law in a large traditional Indian family with limited resources.
Determined to succeed on his own terms as a singer- songwriter and filmmaker, her gifted husband was unable to surrender to parental and societal pressure to be an academic and stable provider for his entire family. It was a position that led to hardships forcing Priyam to suspend her own aspirations in order to support her husband's goals. At the same time she made supreme efforts to nurture and educate her husband's young siblings as well as her own son, who being vulnerable to Assam's harsh monsoons, contracted malaria at a tender age. Their solution to this life-threatening problem was to send their infant son to his maternal grandmother in Vadodara to heal. But he was never to return to live with both his parents.
After four years in Assam, Bhupen and Priyam decided to leave Assam for India's eastern cultural hub Calcutta (Kolkata). It was a move that allowed her husband to immerse himself wholly in creative ventures while Priyam made a home for them in Tollygunge on Golf Club Road. They began as collaborators launching their film production company BP Films, short for Bhupen-Priyam Films. With start up money from her father Dr. Muljibhai they produced several Assamese 'art films' including Era Bator Xur, Mahut Bondhure and Sakuntala. She was the choreographer (Dance Composer and Co-director) of Era Bator Xur for which she was also the lead dancer in the film. Her solo dance performance to her husband's immortal song Sagar Sangamat is considered an iconic artistic landmark in Assam. Much later in 2012, one year after Dr. Bhupen Hazarika expired in 2011, she endeared herself to an entirely new generation of Assamese during what would be her last foreign trip when, with her son, she revisited Assam, the land of her in-laws. She thrilled audiences by dancing at a special performance to celebrate Dr. Bhupen Hazarika's songs at the Sutradhar Dance Academy in Nowgoan. She was 85 and still recovering from a fall but she was so inspired she climbed up on stage to reenact some of her legendary dance moves from the afore-mentioned choreography for the song Sagor Sangamat. This would be her last trip to Assam.
Around 1959, even while her husband's artistry was being recognized at the highest levels, the hardships and realities of that lifestyle strained their relationship to breaking point. Being at heart a self-respecting independent woman, after being together for seven years, she decided to separate from her husband and moved to Kampala to be with her only son, her parents and her siblings.

In 1960 when she arrived in Uganda she found a charged and optimistic environment of new nationhood (Independent new Republic in1962) to her advantage. She found employment as senior news editor for Radio Uganda and soon after became TV news anchor for the newly launched Uganda Television. In 1966 she was inducted into Uganda's diplomatic service after training at Sorbonne University in Paris studying protocole and French. In 1968 she was posted as first secretary to Uganda's permanent mission to the United Nations where her son joined her in 1969. In 1970 she was posted to the Uganda Mission in Paris. In 1972 her family in Uganda, along with approximately 80,000 Ugandan Indians, had left Uganda to start their lives over in whichever country offered them entry. The following year she broke her service with the Ugandan government and immigrated to Canada permanently. Within a short period she gained employment with the department of Access to Information in the Canadian Government working there till her retirement in the late 90's. She remained very independent and maintained close relationships with only a handful of people in Ottawa spending her time reading, keeping up with world events and cooking for family and close friends when they visited.

With special thanks to Doc, Jack, Marilyn, Bulbul, Archana, Arati, Pranab, Anil, Ara, Najeeb, members of her extended family world wide, friends unnamed, health workers and care-takers, all those who have cared for my mother when she lived by herself in Canada for the past 40 years and when she traveled abroad in recent years.
(Penned by her son Tej Hazarika)





Thursday, 7 September 2017

The lost smile....

I woke up with the reminisces of a tiny heartbeat 
Of a new life that breathed in a wrong place inside me.....
Or was it the time which was wrong? 

Alone, I wandered by a river of strange faces, 
And I remembered a Spanish word I learned sometime back,.
And now whenever I think of the daughter I have to wait to meet, 
I find that word in my mouth:

Roana..
The one with reddish brown skin. ...
The one I never see but sometimes I  sense -
A flash in the corner of my eyes-
A carefree laughter …
A sweet sharp note already fading by the time it catches my ear....
I wonder if you feel her presence too,
If you too wonder about her dimples and tiny gold earrings,
If you too regret …………..

I feel a sting of random tears
And nestle within me a little sorrow;
Not out of uncertainty 
But for her smile which I never saw ,
The silky tresses which I never combed....
She remains fossilized now..
A perfectly preserved memory in my tiny museum...

Otherwise the days are without punctuation,
And the nights are dark black pages.
But sometimes it wants to set out – my mind does… 
To find the missing sorrow 
That defied logic and came between your fate and mine;
Unexpected and unwanted, in disguise of realism. 

And now there are bigger battles to fight,
There are visible wounds to soothe..
But my invisible pain comes back when I see her smile
And I try to embrace the vanishing point,  
The point where I left her alone...
Without even a headstone to remember her by.....


Sunday, 3 September 2017

UMIAM RAIN


The awkward pauses in friendships gone wrong,
The missing  chords in a familiar song.
The dancing lights scatter here and there,
A nest of night birds in my unruly hair...
An oft-travelled road with a sudden bend,
A bunch of accidents, with a perfect end..
I wish you a placid lake and a night of rain,
A drizzle of the Umiam peace- without tears and pain....

Monday, 28 August 2017

The day I die on the street. ..


I have a lot of things to teach you now,
In case we ever meet;
Wait for me when twilight veils your life,
And on the day I die on the street....

There's no mistletoe to share a kiss,
No dew-kissed grass beneath my feet..
Wait for me when twilight veils your life,
And on the day I die on the street....

Our present is forever dear...I know,
But my forevers always shift,
Wait for me when twilight veils your life,
And on the day I die on the street....

The strange madness growing in me,
The dark corners which are never lit;
Wait for me when twilight veils your life,
And on the day I die on the street....

I believe life's lies, I err, I sin...
I pile up dreams-bit by bit. .
Remember to wait for me when twilight veils your life,
And on the day I die on the street....

Saturday, 19 August 2017

An Evening in Old Delhi


When I think “Old Delhi”, the first image that comes to my mind is the scene from the movie Delhi 6 where Abhishek Bachchhan sits on the roof of a home with Masakali, the cute white pigeon. Over the years, innumerable trips to the place have created an image of the place in my mind – the aroma of the street food, the generation of tenants who still deposit Rs 13/- per month in their landlord’s bank accounts every month, the many ‘fertility’ clinics who promise babies to childless couples and vigour to those with a low libido, the posters of the films in a couple of inconspicuous cinema halls which will never be screened in any multiplex, the low-seated rickshaws (made famous by a petite Sonali Bendre in ‘Sarfarosh’), etc. The internet enlightens me that Old Delhi was founded as Shahjahanabad by Mughal emperor Shahjahan in 1639 and it remained the capital of the Mughals until the end of the Mughal dynasty. It is referred to as the walled city - the old city was surrounded by a wall enclosing about 1,500 acres , with 14 gates ; some of these gates are Delhi gate, Nigambodh gate, Kashmiri gate, Mori gate, Kabuli gate, Lahori gate, Ajmeri gate, Turkman gate. The walls have now largely disappeared, but most of the gates are still present.
Chandni Chowk was established in 1650 and was built along with the Red Fort. Chandni Chowk , originally meaning "moonlit square" , was built by Shah Jahan, and designed by his favourite daughter Jahan Ara, the market was once divided by canals to reflect moonlight.
This part of Delhi is unique in many ways. With its crowded roads, congested lanes and shouting hawkers, the place exudes a charm of its own. I attempt to highlight a few hallmarks of this area.
Auchinleck Sanik Aramghah is a huge brick-coloured structure in the premises of the Old Delhi Railway Station and is named after Field Marshal Sir Claude John Eyre Auchinleck who spent much of his military career in India. Located in the premises of the Old Delhi Railway Station, this rest house is huge, majestic and imposing. Two old signboards also grabbed my attention - Young Men’s Tennis Club and National Club. Situated just opposite the Old Delhi Railway Station, these two structures dot the map of Old Delhi. Someday I might just get to know a few more details about these places; even ‘Google’ could not help me much when I tried to know more.
Just opposite the Old Delhi Railway Station is the Delhi Public Library, located in the S.P. Mukherjee Marg. The library was established in 1951 as a pilot project sponsored by the UNESCO and the Government of India. The library project dates back to 1944, when Shri Ramkrishna Dalmia donated most of the amount required to construct a library building at the request of Sir Claude Auchinleck. The library was officially opened on 27 October 1951, by then Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru. The operations were formally transferred from UNESCO to the Indian Government in 1955. The library provides training facilities to student librarians and social education workers.
A famous street of Old Delhi is Khari Baoli, which is known for its wholesale grocery and Asia's largest wholesale spice market selling all kinds of spices, nuts, herbs and food products like rice and tea. Operating since the 17th century, the market came up around the Fatehpuri Masjid, which was built in 1650 by Fatehpuri Begum, one of Shah Jahan's wives. During Shah Jahan's reign it came to be known as ‘Khari Baoli’ (from Baoli, meaning step well - wells or ponds in which the water may be reached by descending a set of steps, and Khari or Khara, meaning ‘salty’). It was constructed along with a fortified gateway on its western end popularly known as Lahori Gate (named so because a road through it led to the city of Lahore, now in Pakistan). However, today there is no trace of either the well or the gateway here, which now lie buried under the main road of the market. One has to be in Khari Baoli to see the mountains of spices and food items that line the narrow lanes.
The Dariba Kalan (which literally means the ‘street of the incomparable pearl’), is a 17th-century street in Chandni Chowk and is the home to Asia's largest jewellery market. It derives its name from the Persian Dur-e be-baha, which translates as ‘unparalleled pearl’. Long chains of gold in thousands of designs bedazzle me, as I squint my eyes in the blinding sunlight to look into the wrinkled face of the septuagenarian shopkeeper, his shrewd but gentle eyes assessing me with decades of experience to find out whether I am really a genuine customer or just a curious passer-by.
Kinari bazaar, located next to the famous Paranthe wali Gali , is a market that specializes in traditional dresses for marriages - lehanga, dupatta, salwar-kameez, kurtas, sherwanis, turbans, etc. You just bring a photo of any dress you require, and they will get it ready for you, at a respectable price .The market has a great variety and collection of borders (and that explains the name ‘kinari’ meaning border) and embellishments can be found here at very low price. And I suddenly realized from where my mid-high-end boutique owner gets her impeccable collection of borders from!!
The Nai Sarak, meaning new street, is the linking road, which connects the main Chandni Chowk Road to Chawri Bazaar and has a very big wholesale and retail market of mainly school and college textbooks. The street is called so because it is comparatively a new and broad road made by British after the war of 1857. The market has also few wholesale shops of saris and musical instruments.
Old Delhi gives me a surreal feel. Every denizen there has a story to tell; the eighty years old shopkeeper in Bhagirath Place from where we bought the lights for our new home in Guwahati, narrated the tale of his childhood love Mehzabin, who recited Ghalib and later died of tuberculosis. The walls of the many old buildings (most of which now stand dilapidated and ignored) speak of the days when royalty graced them. Someday, when life permits, I wish to explore this place to my heart’s content. Like a teenager, I am infatuated with Old Delhi, and I do not mind if this infatuation blossoms into love.
“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.”


What women want????

I was just wondering about a frequently speculated and discussed yet never really solved question: WHAT WOMEN WANT/THINK? After allowing my mind to think a bit about this (being a member of this wonderful species) and discussing with a few close friends (of the same sex), I arrived at a few conclusions which need not reflect individualistic traits of our sorority sisters. These are just generalizations without any intent to degrade feminism. And these points are addressed to our spouses/partners.
1. We like being liked, being admired. Yes, praises from any genuine admirer is most welcome. But please do not over do it. We have this knack of sieving out the pretentious words from the heartfelt ones!
2. We hate to discuss our weights and ages. We do not like being called ‘skinny’, ‘carom board’, ‘skeleton’, ‘bag of bones’, etc., and we abhor adjectives like ‘obese’, ‘overweight’, ‘heavy’, ‘BMW’, etc. If we are on the wrong side of 30, please spare us the ‘oh-she-is-approaching-menopause’ type of look (kind attention Dear Husbands. You all are not growing younger with age either)
3. We love to shed tears on the emotional scenes of Hindi films. And we are not ashamed to admit that we like soppy movies. So do not be nervous if you find us sobbing in the mid of a matinee show. We want you to understand our feelings.
4. We expect you to praise our culinary efforts. You will not have cardiac arrest if you do not make a face over that extra pinch of salt in the curry or the ‘too sweet’ desserts.
5. We love to gossip. Just watch how a few of our clan meet in leisure and dissect the entire lifetime of someone we do not like. It’s a natural trait and we want you to understand that. Also, I have seen many a husband ask questions to their wives later (after the female friends have left) what were they discussing about. At least do not pretend that you are not interested in what or who we are discussing about.
6. We love gifts. Have a heart to shower gifts on the smallest pretext or occasion. Stop being a miser, and open your purse, or better still, just swipe your card!
7. When we shop, be courteous enough to carry our shopping bags. Our fragile arms ache with the heavy weight of bags!
8. Do not praise your friends’ wives/girlfriends in front of us. We just hate that! We are least bothered about the Boss’s wife’s cleavage or the secretary’s lean waist.
9. Do not discuss work at home.
10. We love to go on long drives. So at least on weekends, plan out something on your own without asking us where to go. But please, spare us the mundane visits to some boring action movie or to meet up the friends of your ‘all-boys-club’.
11. Once a while, cook up a meal for us, and please do not mess up the whole kitchen in the endeavour.

Contentment

We humans always complain about just not having enough. We buy a home and crib about not having that extra bedroom. We go for a nice vacation and crave for that ‘foreign trip’ that our family friends went for. It is as if we are never satisfied. Agreed, there are exceptions. But most of us carry this trait of always wishing for more.
Suddenly ‘awakened’ about my exploding (there is no other way to describe the phenomenon) waistline and at last a bit touched by the sympathetic glances of well wishers who thought that I will be one day choked to death by my own weight, I decided to join the gym on 17th of June 2013. Two months down the line, I cannot say that I have miraculously trimmed down, but yes, I feel lighter. Anyways, tonight my kids asked me to bring home a KFC bucket for dinner. I decided to go there directly from the gym at about 9:45 p.m.
I took a rickshaw. The rickshaw puller was a strong man. And he was a smooth operator, taking turns and sailing through speed breakers with finesse. I was impressed. When I disembarked, I asked him how much the fare was. When I offered him a hundred rupee note and waited for him to tender me the change, I was struck by what I saw. The rickshaw puller had just one hand. Yes! His right hand was amputated from elbow downwards. With great skill, he took out the rupee notes from the breast pocket and held them with his stump, and counted the exact change with the left hand and gave the money to me; he said, “Do not mind me giving you the money with my left hand Madam.” I stood silent, and looked at his content and serene face. I saw a man, hardworking and determined, who overcame a huge blow to make a decent living.
I guess he is made up of the stuff of which real heroes are made of…He is an inspiration…..
Just felt like sharing this experience. And may be I will just think of the man for a minute when I will complain the next time about not having enough of anything.


Night


The smell of loneliness, as I savour the lonely night,
A whiff of cigarette fumes
Blurring the black sky..
The sparkling beer in those shaky hands
Quenching the thirst, or just wetting the neck??
The silly song of crickets to hear;
Shapeless black ghosts peeping
From behind the green curtains of the distant woods.
Did I see a flying dream?
Or was it a shooting star?
Released from the shackles of courtesy and rules
The desires and dreams unite….
A candid canvas of dancing moonlight,
Somewhere, deep in the black forest,
A wild flower blooms….
I do not want your suns and rains
Just weave me in the dream you sleep with at night 


Of golden fireflies and a silver gown....


The old man sitting on the mahogany rocking chair, breathing in deeply the musky air of the humid Kolkata evening, bore no resemblance to the Bapu Uncle I remembered. Yes, Bapu Uncle, who was the ultimate hero of my colourful childhood world, who killed unseen demons with his magical powers, now sits quiet and helpless in this concrete jungle of towering apartments. He is least bothered about his doting son and daughter-in-law, a rarest of the rare commodity in today’s mechanical and fiercely practical world. Rana Da, Uncle’s son, tells me that Uncle has Alzheimer’s disease, which accounts for his not remembering me. I will be lying if I say that I do not mind; Bapu Uncle, and not remembering me? This took a moment to sink in, and when it did, the vague pain somewhere on the left side of my chest became bearable.
Now, you must be wondering who this old Bapu Uncle really is? Well, you can assume that he was the only other interest in my life when my monomaniac mind was looking for answers to all the questions bubbling in my curious mind of childhood in books! Yes, though he was a good decade and a quarter older than my father, I never knew a person as enthusiastic and as lively as Bapu Uncle. He lived with his petite wife and three sons, all of whom were extremely intelligent and polite, in the rambling bunglow near my grandparents’ home. My biannual visits to my grandparents’ were made memorable by Bapu Uncle. He had the most accurate answer to every question and had the most interesting stories to tell. The fish in the pond in his backyard had a glorious past, the squirrels on the tall betel nut trees in his front yard had an aristocratic lineage, the crows crowding the tiled roof of his bunglow had provided protection to the family for generations….Oh, just like you and many others, I too have a childhood to remember, courtesy this old, quivering man who now sits with vacant eyes staring at nothing in this humid evening in Kolkata.
Uncle’s three sons were gems. All of them excelled in academics, and just like the most brilliant lot of our great country do, the first and the second sons soon migrated to the USA with their wives and children. The youngest one, Rana Da, who is a physicist, had a strong seed of patriotism sown somewhere deep within him; he settled in Kolkata, working for SN Bose National Centre for Basic Sciences, and marrying a local Bengali girl, much to Uncle’s annoyance for diluting the family’s ‘purity’ by marrying an ‘outsider’. But acceptance came easily to my Bapu Uncle, and soon things settled down for good.
Life was good till Rina Aunty was alive. The old couple lived in harmony, with small disagreements sometimes dotting their otherwise predictable life. A small suburb of a not-so-big town in Assam does not offer a myriad of choices, but Uncle and Aunty made the most of everything that came their way. Life was good. It was on a sweltering June afternoon that I went to meet them with my newly married husband about eight years back. You should have seen the excitement in Uncle’s dancing brown eyes that day!
Blame it all on me; I never bothered after that to meet the old couple. I had become selfish; after all, do not we all do when everything in life seems to move on smoothly? I have a basketful of excuses to offer – my husband’s busy schedule, my own job, the kids, the erratic maid, the unpunctual driver, etc. etc. But yes, I could not look into my own eyes in the mirror when I failed to pay Uncle a visit after Aunty’s sudden demise in her sleep. She left, just like that, and Uncle was taken to Kolkata by Rana Da.
It was a couple of months back that I had this sudden urge to see the bunglow that housed princes with golden horses and queens wearing gown sewn of moonlight threads. The need to visit the place was almost urgent, as if I had this last chance to see something which may come to an end very soon. But alas, the bunglow now stood alone, forgotten. The evening breeze no longer carried the music of some distant flute, the fish had abandoned the pond, the squirrels had found newer homes. There was no Bapu Uncle. I missed his twinkling eyes, his ready smile.
Much to my husband’s astonishment, I almost begged for a trip to Kolkata. My wish was granted easily. And here I stand, looking at the man, my Bapu Uncle. They say he does not recognize me. But do you know what I feel? The life that throbs along through any and all of my moments: this is it! It may be one of those fleeting, vague moments that we all cherish till our last breath. This old man, and his vacant eyes….That old man, and his dancing eyes. Gingerly, I take a few steps to sit on the floor near Uncle’s mahogany chair. I take his hands in my own. How his hands have wrinkled! They say he does not speak at all nowadays. My ears ache for a story, for the familiar laughter. I look into his unseeing eyes, and I see him looking down at me. He suddenly grins, a toothless smile playing on his leathery lips. He brings up his right hand and brushes away a wisp of unruly hair from my forehead and whispers, “Care for an adventure, my child? Then come tonight, and we will chase the fireflies and make a lantern for you.”
Life, like faith, surprised me again. I felt like the queen, wearing the silver gown made of moonlight threads……………….


A Chinkie speaks out


We are not whining souls; believe it, because it comes from someone who has been a part of Delhi for nearly a decade and has cherished the major part of her stay in this vivacious city.
Apologies if I sound a bit of a ‘regionalist’ at the moment, but I find myself asking a question which I have either suppressed or just chosen to ignore on many occasions – where do we (the Chinkies) stand?
May be my reaction is a retaliation to the news currently making the headlines on national television – namely, the merciless lynching of Nido Taniam in hip and happening Lajpat Nagar market.
The incident was triggered by Nido reacting to some of the crowd who allegedly mocked his appearance; the young college student from Arunachal Pradesh was killed by a group that took the law into their own hands, apparently encouraged by the heady logic of mob rule and vigilante justice holding sway in the current political scenario and in our nation's capital.
It is not very easy to describe what I want to say. But I am going to give a sincere try.
I may be taunted for my hairstyle, I may be laughed at for my flat nose, I may be labelled a “yellow sea anemone” for the colour of my skin, I may be forced to face discrimination day in and day out for the genetic and inherent traits over which I have no control, but that does not give anyone the right to kill me!
It is a shame that our feelings are seldom respected. A sharp-featured girl in hot pants is trendy and stylish, but a girl from the north-east in the same attire risks being labelled a street walker.
Many of the people may be in denial about the racism that the people of the northeast face. A young couple from Madhya Pradesh may be making out in a shady corner of the Buddha Garden, but the blame will undeniably fall on the neighbourhood “chinky” girl who ‘encourages’ the neighborhood girls to take unthinkable ‘bold’ steps.
Mainland India’s attitude towards the peripheral societies of the north-east is laced with discrimination. Being called a Chinese or a Nepali hurts you know, though it shouldn't. And it hurts bad.
Let me share a few incidents from my own experience that I feel deserve to be heard.
“Do you drink the milk of rhinos?” This question was hurled at me not by some innocent five-year-old but by a senior physician at one of our nation's most prestigious medical institutions! “Do you eat humans?” This from an engineer from Chandigarh! And, as if being labeled a cannibal wasn't enough, we are also lumped into two other unworthy categories – a prostitute if you are a woman and a drug dealer if you are male.
Mine is not an attempt to exaggerate and escalate an issue which perhaps does not exist in the eyes of the majority. While another prominent person with his roots in the north-east, Arnab Goswami (mercifully for him, sharper featured!) angrily protest such incidents in ‘Times Now’ on television, a few so-called enlightened souls are trying to convince us all that Nido Taniam's murder was not a racist incident!
Until a few days ago, I was regretting my decision to resign from my job at the All India Institute of Medical Sciences in New Delhi.
But now, as I look at my two children and notice their not-so-sharp features, I applaud myself for deciding to move back to the safety of the hills.


Eating out in Old Delhi


In 1872, when Chandni Chowk had started settling under the new governance of the British,  a young man in early twenties called Gaya Prasad, left his home in Tehsil Bah in Agra and came to Delhi in search of greener pastures. He set up shop in a lane at the entrance to Kinari Bazaar and where he began selling hot and sizzling paranthas. The popularity of Gaya's paranthas grew so quickly that he had to rope in his brothers and cousins to help him out in the business. 

By 1911, the narrow street in this area -the Chota Dariba - became known as Gali Paranthe Wali or Paranthe wali Gali (literally "the bylane of fried bread"). Gradually, a score shops,  all belonging to the extended families of Gaya Prasad filled the street which even today is noted for its row of parantha shops.

Only three shops remain today remain of the 20 parantha shops that belonged to various branches of the family - P.T Kanhaiyalal Durgaprasad Dixit (estd 1875), P.T Dayanand Shivcharan (estd 1882), and  P.T. Baburam Devidayal Paranthewale (estd 1886). The food is old fashioned, strictly vegetarian, and the cooked dishes do not include onion or garlic.

Jalebi, a sweet made by deep-frying wheat flour batter in pretzel or circular shapes and soaked in sugar syrup, is another speciality of Old Delhi. I learned a mouth watering way to savour Jalebi here. The jalebs are soaked in hot, creamy milk – and then you fish out the jalebis from the milk and devour; sip away the sweetened milk too. You will never stop with just one bowl of doodh jalebi.

Daulat ki chaat – this magical name is not for the tangy, spicy everyday ‘chaat’ that food chains like Haldiram serves. As Mayank Austin Soofi describes it, ‘this dish is an abstraction, and is more an idea than a dessert; a white froth, pop a spoonful into the mouth and it disappears. The lingering sweetness is as fleeting as an early-morning dream. Much romance is attached to the making of this fluff.’ One legend is that the milk is whisked under a full moon sky and the morning dew sets the resulting froth. I like to think of this dish as a handful of cloud, it is there, but still not there……

Kheer Benazir is a sweet dish served in Karim’s, the iconic restaurant opposite Jama Masjid. Served in small earthen pots and rich in dry fruits, many other eateries also serve this delicacy in Old Delhi, including the Al-Jawahar whose biryani is undoubtedly even better that Karim’s.

Over the years, innumerable trips to Old Delhi have created an image of the place in my mind and the aroma of street food takes me back again and again.


The Idiot Box and the not-so-idiot memories....


These days the television (TV) has me glued to its alluring screen for all sort of reasons. Sunanda Pushkar’s sudden death, Kejriwal’s dharna, Narendra Modi’s speech, a few all time favourite movies, the oft-repeated episodes of CID, Arnab Goswami’s heated debates – I have lost count of the interesting programmes that entice me to click on the black rectangle at odd hours. The word television is derived from the ancient Greek word tèle meaning "far", and Latin word "visio", meaning "sight". When Philo Farnsworth made the world’s first working television system in 1927, little had he imagined that the idiot box will come to occupy such a supreme position in our lives someday. This four-cornered monster has almost displaced the age-old newspaper as the most important source of news and entertainment.

My first rendezvous with the TV was in 1985, when my father brought a brown carton of substantial size with the name “ONIDA” written boldly in black on it. Unpacking it revealed a wonder that remained an integral part of our lives till its unceremonious demise more than a decade later in the hands of a sly TV mechanic who went by the name “Sunil Deb”.

I remember the first day of its installation. The white mustard seeds on the screen almost disappointed us, but a miracle in the form of the “fish-bone” antennae held up high on the roof-top painted smiles as big as the “Maharaja Mac” burger on our lips. And the fact that it was a coloured TV added more to our happiness. Suddenly life was all about Humlog (Barki, Majhli, Chutki, etc.), Rajni, Khandaan, etc. I remember the voices of Ved Prakash (with spectacles), Minu (read the English news), Sunit Tandon (bearded), Sarla Maheshwari (had a mole on her lower cheek), Salma Sultan (rose on her hair), Rini Simon (smart with short hair), Kaveri Mukherjee (beautiful eyes), Neethi Ravindran (smart), Komal GB Singh (beautiful), etc. sharing the news of the entire world with us during our meal-times. And how can I forget the snail-like white commas which came with the trademark background music to form the infamous logo of “Doordarshan” on the TV screen?

One of my most cherished memories of TV serials is that of the Ramayana. We sat glued to the screen like an obsessed lover clinging to his girlfriend! I remember my mother and the neighbourhood ladies discussing supposed incidents of thefts in many a households while the family members sat attentively watching the Ramayana (though today I have serious reservations about such incidents really occurring). He-man, Street Hawk (Night-Rider), Vikram-Betaal, Stone Boy, Antariksh, Air Hostess, Mahabharata, Rangoli, Chitrahaar – these became unavoidable words of our daily lingo. And yes, the suave Roshan Seth in “Bharat Ek Khoj”, who was initially imposed on me like an unsolicited bridegroom, went on to become a personal favourite in due course of time.

It is the television to which I owe my fascination for sports like cricket and tennis (football comes a distant third), and my undying love for the Palmolive shampoo (endorsed by a well-dressed Kapil Dev smiling maniacally on the TV screen) till the company stopped production of the fascinating blue liquid. And how can I forget the “Rasna” girl? She is responsible for the endless glasses of the orange nectar that I insisted on having each evening till the shopkeeper of the neighbourhood general store shut shop to elope with the teenage daughter of the local barber.

I also owe my cherished affair with Hindi movies to our ONIDA TV (which also had a remote). My earliest memories of Hindi movies go back to sporadic, hazy flashes of watching ‘Tarzan’ and ‘Ram Teri Ganga Maili’ in the small cinema hall of the little town named Goalpara where we lived (and in retrospect, I seriously wonder about the intentions of my parents who exposed me and my younger brother to such ‘matured’ celluloid masterpieces; I was barely seven and I cannot help but salute my ahead-of-the-times parents who were either too courageous or were really ignorant to have exposed me and my four year old brother to the antics of Kimi Katkar-Hemant Birje and the escapades of Rajiv Kapoor-Mandakini!). Jokes apart, I got acquainted with both regional as well as Hindi films, courtesy – television.

After more than twelve years of dedicated service, our ONIDA (neighbour’s envy) became sick. It was afflicted with a strange disease where green became blue and red became green. The bloodied villains of movies looked like moss-covered aliens and the trees were perennially bathed in indigo drizzle. A destroyer who went by the name of Sunil Deb came disguised as a TV mechanic and put the last nail on the coffin of our old friend.

I watch a TV with an LCD (or is it LED?) screen now. The enlightened souls may call it a promotion, but I miss my ONIDA. I miss Usha Albuquerque telling me about the weather forecast of the four metros, I miss a lean Vinod Dua articulating with the familiar twinkle, I miss the enthusiastic voice of Narottam Puri relaying sports news at 4 p.m, I miss the elegant pearl strings which adorned the shapely neck of Gitanjali Aiyer, I also miss the trademark hair-bun of Avinash Kaur Sarin, the booming voice of Tejeshwar Singh, the lovely face of Shobhna Jagdish, the crazy Cadbury girl in the violet frock who danced her way to the cricket field…Yes, I unabashedly admit that I miss a less sophisticated Prannoy Roy, the bespectacled K.K. Raina, the eagerly awaited Sunday evening movies, the heart-touching stories of Hello Zindagi, the cute Master Manjunath of Malgudi, the enthusiasm with which I sat through the entire telecast of the Republic Day parade till the very end, and ironically, I also miss being a part of the untiring wait through the entire duration of a sad-looking “rukawat ke liye khed hain” because there was just one channel and the concept of “channel surfing” was still in its embryonic stage.

Was Arthur Golden thinking the way I do when he said, “Sometimes, I think the things I remember are more real than the things I see.”