Life

We live in a world which is constantly referred to by the yesteryears generation as ‘mechanical’. It is as if the new gizmos and paraphernalia associated with our present day lifestyle have rendered us devoid of emotions and feelings. I was wondering about a few experiences, both personal and those of some very close friends as well as acquaintances, and after some serious thinking on the subject, I beg to state that there are many ambiguities in the thought process of the generation previous to ours. Agreed that now life is faster, and maybe we have become more impersonal in our day to day dealings, but the emotional quotient of our generation has not diminished.

Time and again, either in a crowded shopping place or a secluded corner in the bustling city, we come across young couples quarrelling, fighting. Yes, the public display of emotions is the order of the day. Earlier, people may have thought it prim and proper to disguise their feelings. But now, the things are different. The tolerance level of the human beings has waned off over the years. We now react upon the slightest provocation, at acts which can be well ignored or controlled at our will; is it because of the tremendous pressure that we put upon ourselves? Or is it the culmination of the high expectations about everything around us? 

Our lives are centred on equal monthly instalments. The EMIs decide what we will do in the days to come, what to eat, where to entertain friends, and what more to obtain to make our lives easier. But does it mean that we are becoming machine-like? I disagree. The emotions may be pent up, but they are there. 

Yes, as far as yours truly is concerned, personal opinions have become generous with each passing day. They were either black or white, with no shade in between. But long before the copies of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ flooded the market, I learnt about the alternate shades of life (no pun intended!). That there existed a path in between the good and the bad, that there is more to life than deciding what is wrong and what is right. For example, who am I to judge the morals of the other woman in some married man’s life? How do I know what went in between so that she had to be content with that appellation? I am just another person living in another world with my own set of rules and values. Why should I impose them on others? And in what capacity can I judge my fellow homo sapiens? How do I know that whatever I am doing is good or bad? 

And I was able to rein the judgemental streak that I had nurtured within me over the years. But it does not imply that I have become a better human being or that I have risen above the others; it’s just that I feel better about life in general. Live and let live, without hurting anyone intentionally. I have taken a quote by Wiilliam W Purkey very seriously which says “You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching, Love like you’ll never be hurt, Sing like there’s nobody listening, And live like it’s heaven on earth.” 

But feelings never die a natural death. We carry them with us into the coffins and pyres where we ultimately go, and whatever we do and however we react are dependent only in our emotional states. One more trait that needs to be incorporated in our lives is the ability to forget. Do not forgive if you prefer to hold on to things from Adam’s age and make your life miserable, but be generous enough to forgive. Believe me, it makes life very easy. 

Agreed that in the times of our parents and grandparents, life was easier. People had lesser needs, women were confined to the household with well defined chores and people had time for each other. The pressures of the modern day life have made us edgy and suspicious. But all we need is a bit of tolerance. Sailing through the most difficult situations with a smile is an art that I have seen in a very good friend of mine, who never buckles down to any pressure. She always says that problems are meant to come into our lives without any warning, and our duty is to either find a plausible solution or wait for the bad time to pass. Further, rendering our feelings naked in front of others will not help us in anyway; rather it will serve as a chance for others to take advantage of our state of mind and show false sympathy and fake concern. Our battles are for our own to fight, and winning or losing is not in our hands. 

At the end of the day, we should not have any regrets. Whatever we have or do not have, whatever we achieve or lose, are our own making. Brooding over the spilled milk will only end up making our lives miserable. Dr. Seuss had how truthfully concluded that ““Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” 

What I have seen that every generation has the notion that their times were the best. Usually the stories begin with “In our days……”, and the narration would go on and on, without the consideration whether the people sitting around are listening or not. May be one day we will also turn out to be shoddy story-tellers. But whatever stories we may tell, the bottom-line should be ‘I may be good but that does not mean that you are bad.’