High and Mighty

“High heels were invented by a woman who had once been kissed on the forehead.” 

But no, it was not the mere craving for a luscious French kiss from my dashing tall, dark and handsome lover that makes me wear high heels. I am not short you see, I am an Indian woman of average height. It is just that there is something about those towering adornments on my feet which gives me a ‘kick’. And there is more to heels than mere painful pleasure to look tall.

Jonathan Swift knew it long before you and I did. In the epic Gulliver’s Travels, in Lilliput, political affiliation splits between men who wear high-heeled shoes and men who wear low-heeled shoes. The high heels, (namely,  the Tramecksans) support Lilliput's constitution and the Emperor. However, the low heels the Slamecksans, are in power. The Emperor will only put low heels into high office in his government, regardless of the abilities or qualifications of the high heels. And the Emperor's son is even harder to pin down; he wears one high and one low heel, so no one knows where he stands!

The origin of high heels is debated. Some think they evolved from chopines (a type of women's platform shoe that was popular in the 15th, 16th and 17th centuries, originally used as a patten, clog or overshoe to protect the shoes and dress from mud and street soil). Early shoes often used straps called “latchets” with lace or ribbon ties. Others say they arrived from the Near East, from male equestrian footwear meant to straddle the stirrup. So heels, unlike the typical MCP thinking of males, doesn’t seem to be an entirely female domain.

A keener search on the web tells me a lot more about the evolution of high heels. The high heel wasn’t really invented, it evolved over time thanks to Venetian prostitutes, British queens and French designers..Whatever in history made the heel popular, the first documented wearer of European high heels is Queen Elizabeth I. She was painted wearing a pair, and in “Queen Elizabeth’s Wardrobe Unlock’d,” clothing historian Janet Arnold includes a list of the queen’s clothes from 1595, with “a payre of spanyshe lether shoes with highe heels and arches.” The French, or Pompadour heel, was named after Madame de Pompadour, mistress to King Louis XV. The narrow, curved heels were notoriously difficult to walk in, but nevertheless made for a fantastic boudoir shoe.

On some occasions, high heels are a must. In the Cannes film festival, there are instances of red carpet sentinels shutting out women who ignored “Croisetiquette” requiring them to wear high-heels to film premieres.

But then, there are catches. Regular high-heel wearing can lead to damaging changes in the calf muscle and tendons. There is anecdotal evidence from the 1950s that secretaries experienced discomfort when they took off their high heels and walked barefoot, which also suggest wearing high heels cause changes. In other words, heels can become addictive. And it has been proven beyond a reasonable doubt that wearing high heel shoes is a public health hazard (stepping on someone else’s toes) and contributes to numerous serious injuries. Corns and calluses, toenail problems, hammertoe, bunions, tight heel cords, Haglund’s deformity, neuromas, joint pain in the ball of the  and stress fractures are a few legacies that come with this damaging package...

So why on earth do so many women inflict such pain upon themselves?

In a 2008 article by Sally Feldman in the New Humanist called "The Heights of Madness", the high heel is compared to Victorian corsets: uncomfortable and extreme clothing meant to provide visual appeal. Some call high heels "battleground in sexual politics." I believe that one should find  her own justification for sticking on to this potentially hazardous yet essential exercise.

Though I love all my high heels, some of them don't love me back. Once I was almost sent to the hospital with a fractured toe after I stepped on my spiked Metro shoe. That's right, I wasn't even wearing them when they injured me! Just stepping on one of the heels was so extreme - it sent my ankle on an one way twist!  Add it to the annals of accidents caused by architecturally impossible footwear. Once I wore a pair of 6” stilettos to a friend’s wedding reception and accidentally stepped on an uneven patch of ground. I had to keep my foot immobile for a month following the misstep. 

Some people have a rule in their home that both family and visitors must take off their shoes when entering the house. This rule leaves behind a huge dent in my self confidence and I find myself crawling behind as a lesser mortal with atleast 4” shorter than my ‘apparent’ height.  While they may have a number of reasons for having such a rule, like they worry about their carpet getting dirty, they may want to avoid their hardwood floor being scratched by heels, they may fear that shoes could pick up toxins that might harm their children or it may be that removing shoes at the door is part of their culture, I am planning to revoke the rule in my home (yes, I too have THAT rule) in the greater interest of humanity.