The uncommon man

I remember an often quoted adage “Never underestimate the power of the common man” (begging excuses from R.K. Laxman for dragging his famous cartoon character into the limelight!)

You see, it’s not really possible to fool the ’common man’ - and I can narrate two recent incidents to reinforce my point.

It was a day of commotion and confusion in the perennially bustling household of Ratneswar Sharma in the village of Ratnapur  (drawing inspiration from the many successful directors of the Hindi film industry, I would like to emphasize that the names of the characters and the places have been changed to hide the real identities of the people concerned).  The epicentre of this important discussion in the Sharma household was that the national highway that ran in front of their courtyard was to be broadened by the National Highway Authority of India (NHAI), and Ratneswar, like many of his fortunate neighbours, would be soon asked to hand over a portion of his land to the NHAI, in lieu for a compensation, of course!

On that particular day, Ratneswar sat with his wife, two sons and his only daughter to calculate the amount of money that had to be claimed. Eyeing his awestruck audience with an air of superiority, Ratneswar remarked,

“Well, along with the measured portion of land for which we will be given three lakhs rupees, we stand to lose two coconut tree saplings which I planted with my own hands a month ago, and also the twenty three year-old precious mango tree which has not borne a single fruit to date. We cannot give up the hope that one fine day the mango tree might bear fruits. As far as the coconut saplings are concerned, we will claim ninety thousand rupees per sapling, considering the fact that in a few years time they would have grown up to become big trees and would have borne coconuts, the price of which is twenty rupees apiece in today’s market. My dear family members, given the opportunity to survive, these two saplings would have given me returns exceeding the amount which I am claiming, but I, being a considerate citizen of the country, want to contribute to the  development of infrastructure. Hence, I have mitigated my claims.”

Sharma’s sons eyed their father with renewed respect, while his toothless wife beamed at her septuagenarian husband; only his daughter, a school teacher, looked a bit sceptical. Encouraged by the response of his attentive audience, Ratneswar continued,

“Nowadays, technology has aided even eighty year-old women to bear children. So why should we give up on our mango tree which is in its twenties? Hence, I plan to claim one lakh fifty thousand rupees only for that tree. This will include the price of the wood too, and also the possibility of the tree being included in the Guinness Book of World Records as the oldest mango tree that remained fruitless. You see, my dear children, we must keep all the possibilities in mind.”

Well, unfortunately, a week later, I was informed by his daughter  that the NHAI had diverted the route of the new highway, and therefore, Ratneswar Sharma did not have to give up an inch of his precious land!

The other incident concerns a particular young relative of mine, who prided himself as the best driver around, until the following sequel of events occurred. One fine, sunny day, he was driving along at 110 kph. The mid-day road was barren, sans a few lazy goats and a handful of lethargic cows that were intelligent enough to steer clear of the main road. Suddenly, a black rooster appeared out of nowehere and was hit by the speeding vehicle. My relative braked to a screeching halt and then all hell broke out. About a dozen villagers surrounded him. The oldest (and the wisest) remarked,

“You killed the rooster. And with him died the possibility of hundreds of eggs. Now you must pay thirty thousand rupees to its owner”.

The ‘owner’ stood silently in a corner, looking forlornly at the dead bird.

“Eggs?" said the 'best driver'. "I never heard of a rooster laying eggs! At most, I will pay two hundred rupees for that dead soul”.

The Wise Man replied, “My dear boy, can you imagine the number of hens this virile rooster might have impregnated had you not cut short his life? Pay up; otherwise we will have to resort to stronger means”.

After some negotiation, the 'best driver' paid ten thousand rupees to the owner.

People say that from that day onwards, the 'best driver' invested in a harmless bicycle for short distance trips and hired another driver to take him to faraway destinations.

As they say, “Never underestimate the power of the common man”.