Testosterone...without brake!

Almost three decades and a half back, I landed on this planet. Since then, I was made aware by the people around me (family, friends, acquaintances, eve-teasers, even those who tried to cross the ‘laxman-rekha’, etc.) that since the entire society is not androgynous, there are domains demarcated for males and females. Yes, being born in a place (Chinkyland?) where there is no mourning (till now) at the birth of a female child, I accept that there was no apparent disparity between me and my brothers in anyway. Be it in academics, the clothes we wore, or the food we ate, we three siblings were treated at par with each other. Many years later, when destiny and circumstances brought me to Delhi, I became aware that we, the north eastern ‘migrants’, are considered promiscuous and easy lays. ‘Love-marriage’ is akin to elopement, and inter-caste marriages are equal to world wars (blame the absence of khaps in the north-east). But yes, I will be grossly incorrect if I say that I am always right and everybody else is always wrong. I could not resist mentioning this general mentality of my fellow countrymen after my decade long (almost) stays in the national capital.

Recently, Mr. Mohan Bhagawat, RSS leader, stated, “A husband and wife are involved in a contract under which the husband has said that you should take care of my house and I will take care of all your needs. I will keep you safe. So, the husband follows the contract terms. Till the time, the wife follows the contract, the husband stays with her, if the wife violates the contract, he can disown her….Similarly, if a husband is unable to fulfill the terms of contract, then the wife can break the contract. Everything is based on contract.” The same RSS chief had created a flutter last week when he had said in Silchar in Assam that rape is mainly prevalent in urban India due to western influence and that such crimes against women do not happen in rural areas of the country.
Oh yes, is that so Sir? You may be quoted out of context or your comments may have been twisted when you mentioned the ‘contract’ issue, BUT if there is a Buddha Garden in Delhi or a Nehru Park in Guwahati (read India) then there are secluded spots in the wheat and paddy fields of rural Bharat where the willing couples make out. If there is a Ram Singh in Delhi, then there is this case where a minor dalit girl was allegedly raped on New Year’s eve in a village of Tamil Nadu’s Namakkal district. A teenaged girl in Haryana’s Gannaur village in Sonepat district has alleged that she was gang raped by four persons after which police have registered a case against the accused. Another victim, a Class IX student in a government school and hailing from a village in Hisar, has alleged that she was forcibly tied, threatened and raped by the accused at her house. Her family members were away when the incident took place.

So, with my limited common sense, fast advancing middle age and alert mind, I have come to the conclusion that one need not be an urbanite to be a rapist. He can be the friendly neighborhood Uncle who drops by every evening with chocolates, or the sweet cousin who hold you in the pretext of cuddling and ends up touching and fondling the breasts. The simple Grandpa from the native village who tells lovely stories can crawl up into your bed after the parents sleep to demonstrate his manhood. Yes, the human mind need not have an upscale address to harbour dirty thoughts. Anyone who speaks dirty, touches in an inappropriate manner and makes a female uncomfortable is a rapist, relation and location notwithstanding.

Madhya Pradesh Minister Kailash Vijayvargiya (BJP) has stirred a controversy by saying that women who cross their limits pay the price. Quoting Ramayana, Vijayvargiya said just like Sita was abducted by Ravana, a woman will be punished if she crosses her limits. Now, the focus of this unenlightened lesser mortal has shifted to these ‘limits’. Who defines the limits? Who approves them? Am I within my limits if I have to leave my home in the middle of the night to attend to a sick patient (as my profession demands)? Or is it that only a male doctor who attends to his patients at night is within the ‘laxman-rekha’ as his body is under the control of testosterone? 

A lady driving alone at night, may be because she cannot afford a driver or because the timings of public transport are not suitable as per her office hours, might get raped ; and will the ‘laxman-rekha’ be responsible for that? An older woman seducing a younger man is of loose moral character, but a middle aged man having sex with a 10-year old is excusable because he was unhappy with his wife and was aroused by the little girl! Right?

Forget leaders, I have heard a few people known to me blaming the rape victims for the ‘fate’ that came upon them. Why wear ‘such type’ of clothes, why have a boyfriend? Why go out? Believe me, I have also recently been enlightened that it’s not possible to actually carry out the act of RAPE without the girl’s consent, and that many a girls actually enjoy the same! (As told by a man well into his fifties). 
As if the waves of change dawning upon the society are only meant for the testes bearers and not for the ones with ovaries! Just having the urge or being aroused does not mean that you can take it out and put it wherever and whenever you want to…Sounds crass? Yes, it is meant to be!

Will it not be better if the whole world turns androgynous?