I am from Assam
Deepawali, the festival of lights, is a grand affair in northern India. Back home in Assam, the festival is confined to the lighting of earthen lamps (nowadays replaced by candles and electric lights of different colours) and one or two hours of playing with fire crackers with family and friend..
For the last seven years, I have been celebrating Deepawali in Delhi. And each year, the opulence associated with the festival increases. People burn away lakhs of rupees in crackers, spend mind boggling amounts on gifts and wash away fortunes in gambling. The amount of money spent by an average family is good enough to conduct an Assamese marriage.
I met this lady, let me call her Reena Baideo, a few days back at a friend’s place over dinner. She has been a Delhite for the last twenty one years. Reena Baideo’s husband is Punjabi, and she is right now working with an NGO. I over heard her saying to one of our friends (who is also a Delhite from Haryana), “People of Assam do not know how to enjoy. Deepawali in Assam is a sorry affair ; dull and boring..”
Now let me tell you one thing..I am a bit more emotional when it comes to my state. You can say that I do go overboard at times. I hunt out Assamese people in Delhi and like to mingle with them. This attitude can be attributed to the fact that I have been away from Assam for quite a long time now, and the occasional visits are not enough. Reena Baideo’s words stung me; she is nearly fifteen years my senior and her husband is a very highly ranked government official.I did not want to say anything harsh to her. And my husband, who gets a premonition every time I get those “JOI AAI OXOM” moods, was giving me one of his ‘dagger’ looks (which meant, ” you better hold your tongue and be quiet.”). I kept silent.
But I was again disturbed by what Reena Baideo was telling another friend, ” Politicians are corrupt, trees are being cut and salary is low in Assam. People have no civic sense. Roads are dirty, and women waste all their time gossiping away. The standard of education is low …’ and blah blah………
I felt bad. Really bad.
Of course, my state may not be the ideal state of the country. But which state is ? Politicians are corrupt in every state; Assam cannot be singled out. If Assam had its share of National Games, then Delhi to had the Commonwealth Games. If roads become unfit for use in Assam, the Metro pillars collapse in Delhi too. If couples sneak out to the State zoo in Guwahati for public display of ‘love’, then Buddha garden and Safdarjung Tomb are also there in the national capital…
With a tight control over my temper (which is short), I approached Reena Baideo. I told her, “Baideo, if educated people like you go back to Assam, then may be we can bring some change in the state. I am going back within a few years and plan to work there. For the last half an hour I have been hearing your conversation. We Assamese people have one more bad trait which you seem to have overlooked. Reena Baideo, we tend to glorify our weaknesses, and we forget our strengths.”
With that I left the place. I did not want to create a scene there..But there were so many things I wanted to say…
In my state, nobody cries when a daughter is born. Unlike some other states where only sons are regarded as the torch bearers of ‘dynasties’, daughters are given equal status as sons in Assam. They are given all the privileges, including education, and to get them married to a ‘well settled’ boy is not the only aim of the parents.
Secondly, dowry is not a norm in Assam. Atleast I have never heard any groom’s parents asking for 40 ‘tolas’ of gold from the bride’s parents.Grooms are not for sale in Assam.
Nothing like Assamese cuisine. Low in fat and spices, they are a treat to the palate.
No beautiful tresses like those of the north eastern girls. They do not frequent parlours for hair spa; the beautiful tresses are just there.
Assamese people do not spend lakhs to celebrate Deepawali. We do not need to. And we cannot afford to. Deepawali is celebrated in Assam according to the status and the capacity of the people there. There is absolutely no need to borrow money from others to distribute gifts , which are anyways handed down in Delhi the next year as gifts to other people.
My state has terrorists; terrorists kill many innocent people. But terrorists do not need a particular state to breed. They are there in Tamil Nadu, in Kashmir, in Maharashtra, etc. too.
Yes, we look different. That is because my state has learnt to embrace people from all over the world. That does not mean that we want to give up our own identity. When a Raj Thackrey does it, its in the interest of the state; when an unknown Assamese does it, its hooliganism. Not meaning to sound cliche, this is the reality in this country of ours.
We are ‘chinky’. And mind it, I am a very proud Chinky. I carry the tag of being a Chinky among my non Chinky friends with utmost pride and respect. I had an inter caste marriage, and my sons are hence ‘hybrid’. ’ Hybrid’ Chinkies will be even more in fashion in due course of time.
I do not have to acquire an accent to be ‘in’; we north eastern people are already ‘in’. Long before ‘Metallica’ fever gripped north India, ‘Beatles’ had already vacationed in Shillong…..
Yes, alcoholism has gripped my brethren back home. But what about the ‘civilized’ alcoholics in the rest of the country? Alcohol too, like terrorists, has no permanent address. It can take accommodation anywhere in India.
Reena Baideo, if you are reading this, let me tell you….I feel sorry for you. This post is not meant to insult the others and to glorify the north east. I honestly take immense pride in being an Indian. But I am proud to be from ASSAM too. Rather than making a fool of ourselves like this in public places, where people laugh behind our backs, we should try to rectify ourselves first, and also learn to respect ourselves.
For the last seven years, I have been celebrating Deepawali in Delhi. And each year, the opulence associated with the festival increases. People burn away lakhs of rupees in crackers, spend mind boggling amounts on gifts and wash away fortunes in gambling. The amount of money spent by an average family is good enough to conduct an Assamese marriage.
I met this lady, let me call her Reena Baideo, a few days back at a friend’s place over dinner. She has been a Delhite for the last twenty one years. Reena Baideo’s husband is Punjabi, and she is right now working with an NGO. I over heard her saying to one of our friends (who is also a Delhite from Haryana), “People of Assam do not know how to enjoy. Deepawali in Assam is a sorry affair ; dull and boring..”
Now let me tell you one thing..I am a bit more emotional when it comes to my state. You can say that I do go overboard at times. I hunt out Assamese people in Delhi and like to mingle with them. This attitude can be attributed to the fact that I have been away from Assam for quite a long time now, and the occasional visits are not enough. Reena Baideo’s words stung me; she is nearly fifteen years my senior and her husband is a very highly ranked government official.I did not want to say anything harsh to her. And my husband, who gets a premonition every time I get those “JOI AAI OXOM” moods, was giving me one of his ‘dagger’ looks (which meant, ” you better hold your tongue and be quiet.”). I kept silent.
But I was again disturbed by what Reena Baideo was telling another friend, ” Politicians are corrupt, trees are being cut and salary is low in Assam. People have no civic sense. Roads are dirty, and women waste all their time gossiping away. The standard of education is low …’ and blah blah………
I felt bad. Really bad.
Of course, my state may not be the ideal state of the country. But which state is ? Politicians are corrupt in every state; Assam cannot be singled out. If Assam had its share of National Games, then Delhi to had the Commonwealth Games. If roads become unfit for use in Assam, the Metro pillars collapse in Delhi too. If couples sneak out to the State zoo in Guwahati for public display of ‘love’, then Buddha garden and Safdarjung Tomb are also there in the national capital…
With a tight control over my temper (which is short), I approached Reena Baideo. I told her, “Baideo, if educated people like you go back to Assam, then may be we can bring some change in the state. I am going back within a few years and plan to work there. For the last half an hour I have been hearing your conversation. We Assamese people have one more bad trait which you seem to have overlooked. Reena Baideo, we tend to glorify our weaknesses, and we forget our strengths.”
With that I left the place. I did not want to create a scene there..But there were so many things I wanted to say…
In my state, nobody cries when a daughter is born. Unlike some other states where only sons are regarded as the torch bearers of ‘dynasties’, daughters are given equal status as sons in Assam. They are given all the privileges, including education, and to get them married to a ‘well settled’ boy is not the only aim of the parents.
Secondly, dowry is not a norm in Assam. Atleast I have never heard any groom’s parents asking for 40 ‘tolas’ of gold from the bride’s parents.Grooms are not for sale in Assam.
Nothing like Assamese cuisine. Low in fat and spices, they are a treat to the palate.
No beautiful tresses like those of the north eastern girls. They do not frequent parlours for hair spa; the beautiful tresses are just there.
Assamese people do not spend lakhs to celebrate Deepawali. We do not need to. And we cannot afford to. Deepawali is celebrated in Assam according to the status and the capacity of the people there. There is absolutely no need to borrow money from others to distribute gifts , which are anyways handed down in Delhi the next year as gifts to other people.
My state has terrorists; terrorists kill many innocent people. But terrorists do not need a particular state to breed. They are there in Tamil Nadu, in Kashmir, in Maharashtra, etc. too.
Yes, we look different. That is because my state has learnt to embrace people from all over the world. That does not mean that we want to give up our own identity. When a Raj Thackrey does it, its in the interest of the state; when an unknown Assamese does it, its hooliganism. Not meaning to sound cliche, this is the reality in this country of ours.
We are ‘chinky’. And mind it, I am a very proud Chinky. I carry the tag of being a Chinky among my non Chinky friends with utmost pride and respect. I had an inter caste marriage, and my sons are hence ‘hybrid’. ’ Hybrid’ Chinkies will be even more in fashion in due course of time.
I do not have to acquire an accent to be ‘in’; we north eastern people are already ‘in’. Long before ‘Metallica’ fever gripped north India, ‘Beatles’ had already vacationed in Shillong…..
Yes, alcoholism has gripped my brethren back home. But what about the ‘civilized’ alcoholics in the rest of the country? Alcohol too, like terrorists, has no permanent address. It can take accommodation anywhere in India.
Reena Baideo, if you are reading this, let me tell you….I feel sorry for you. This post is not meant to insult the others and to glorify the north east. I honestly take immense pride in being an Indian. But I am proud to be from ASSAM too. Rather than making a fool of ourselves like this in public places, where people laugh behind our backs, we should try to rectify ourselves first, and also learn to respect ourselves.
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